Searching "Turbo training with a broken collarbone"

Springtime! I felt my luck was changing. I was up to an hour on the turbo with some intervals - a huge improvement from 4 minutes at 100 watts. I'd even managed a family bike ride in the sunshine; it was amazing. My daily rehab and hourly icing was working. If single leg squats was a sport, I'd now be a competitive age-grouper.

100 days to the Europeans in Romania...game on!

I was beginning to believe my knee would hold up to riding outdoors. After 5 months off proper training, it was perhaps time to reveal my pastey legs to the world. Perhaps even shave them!

But, now I'm searching "Turbo training with a broken collarbone". The 'let's take up BMXing to improve my mountain biking' is proving a bloomin' disaster. Yes, I'm loads more confident on a bike, I'm more knowledgeable, my pumping's half-decent and I've had lots of fun, but at what a friggin' cost!! Another crash and this time a broken collarbone. And of course, it's in a place with an increased risk of not healing and needing surgery. Of course! 

The consultant talked through the best-case scenario; I zoned out, waiting for the worst-case scenario, which these days feels more relevant! Flash backs to my broken finger that took 17 weeks to heal. "Fuckety-fuck!!" And as for Dartford A&E, I thought I was in a waiting room for auditions for the Jeremy Kyle show.

I want a life without painkillers. I want to be able to wear a bra! I want a life where my husband isn't doubling up as my carer. I want to be able to drive - have some independence. Dare I say it, I want to be able to aqua-run!

I want my old life back!!